There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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