I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
