that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
