why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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