So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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