If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
