Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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