I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
