everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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