my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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