I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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