you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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