Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I forgot wine drunk hurts
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
