DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
