woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize