i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
