I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize