i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize