I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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