i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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