i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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