So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize