I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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