At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
