I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
ttyl tear gas
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
