i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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