I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
