I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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