And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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