Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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