haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
