Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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