That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
