Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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