just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
MIDGETS
????
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
