Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
