I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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