Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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