K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
