How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
