We're like a lot better than the average bears
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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