i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
