This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So squirting runs in the family.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
