So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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