It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
