The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
