my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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