You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
