i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
