I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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