Don't worry. I has chaperone.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm too high and old for this...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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