well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Semen is not good for contacts.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
