how can u be prego again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
