i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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