It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
