just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize