so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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