He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize