so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
