Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Every concussion has its silver lining
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
