Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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