there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
