My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
