yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
