What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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