Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
