he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
