whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Drunk is a universal language darling
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