You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
